


Magnus Bane: On My Way to Believing

by y0uneverwalkal0ne



Series: Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood: Redefined (A Collection) [4]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Freeform, Isabelle Lightwood - Freeform, Jace HERONDALE - Freeform, Love, M/M, Malec, Maryse Lightwood - Freeform, Nephilim, Ragnor Fell - Freeform, Raphael Santiago - Freeform, Robert Lightwood - Freeform, Shadowhunters - Freeform, Simon Lewis - Freeform, The Clave, The Institutes, alec lightwood - Freeform, angel raziel, clary fray - Freeform, episode 12, jace wayland - Freeform, magnus bane - Freeform, the mortal instruments - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-03
Updated: 2016-06-03
Packaged: 2018-07-11 21:58:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7072096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/y0uneverwalkal0ne/pseuds/y0uneverwalkal0ne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Magnus Bane recounts his interactions with Alec Lightwood and decides whether he should pursue him or not.<br/>[Set during Episode 12: Malec]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Magnus Bane: On My Way to Believing

**Author's Note:**

> TADA!!! Another one! This is a sequel (LOL)/ partner of my other fic, Alec Lightwood: Make No Mistake. This wasn't meant to be written, but I need to get this out of my head. LOL.
> 
> As always, dedicated to my #MGDSquad from Twitter! Love you like I love Malec guys! :* [I MISS YOU REMI! :( :* ]
> 
> This is dedicated to you as well, whoever you are and whenever you are in this world, two words for you–BE HAPPY.
> 
> Thank you for taking some time for this, and enjoy! :)

Magnus Bane felt something  _ click _ inside of his forgotten soul the moment he caught sight of the tall, with the shiny black and slightly curly hair Shadowhunter with the noticeable deflect rune on his neck.

_ Not _ that  _ that _ memory is sticked inside his head.

“ _ Who are  _ **_you_ ** _?”  _ Of course, with someone  _ that beautiful, _ Magnus felt compelled to know, or even just introduce himself to him. A future  _ fling? _ Possibly.

But alas, he had no time that day. Never in a hundred or so years had he ever interfered with the Angel’s warriors.  _ Never in his lifetime _ . So, he quickly put up a Portal and escape the place where  _ that gorgeous Nephilim _ is–not yet knowing about the consequences.

Ah yes,  _ the dreams. _

Being the High Warlock has its perks, and Magnus knows very well how to use them. Within three hours, he knew all the basics about  **_Alexander Gideon Lightwood._ **

A Lightwood, yes. Magnus Bane never had any  _ good _ memories about the Lightwoods. Well with the exception of the Herondale generation–  _ that good, old generation is for another story. _

After the research came and have been read, Magnus can’t think of anything else but  _ Alexander. _

_ Alexander, Alexander,  _ **_Alexander_ ** _.  _ It’s quite annoying, honestly, because he has never felt this  _ restless, _ not even when he was with Camille.

Magnus Bane was never _this_ ** _smitten_** in his whole life. In all his relationships and flirtings and flings, Magnus always had the upper hand, or _control,_ if you suppose.

But this time? Alec Lightwood holds him in his hands, and  _ he don’t even know it. _

_ Magnus Bane shall make himself known. _

_ “I’m Magnus. I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced.” _

_ “A-Alec.”  _ Magnus Bane  _ swore _ – this man has the  _ most undoing smile _ in the world. It’s...innocent. By all and every standard, a great contrast to Magnus’ history. 

_ Innocent _ is never a word to describe Magnus Bane, but the moment he saw Alec,  _ he felt his whole history get wiped clean like a clear slate. _

He knew then that he wants this man.

_ “I  _ **_need_ ** _ Alexander.” _

**_But you’re immortal, he’s not– care to do the math?_ **

This was one of those times Magnus regretted being  _ divine– _ but  _ he’s willing to take the risks.  _ Maybe he’ll be prepared to let go of him, after 50 or so years.

_ Then Magnus will go dormant again. _

_ “Let me spell it out for you. I want to see you again, Alec.” _

A hundred or so years–it’s enough to make himself believe that  _ he deserves to be happy. _

Magnus then did everything he can,  _ everything  _ he know will make the Shadowhunter come out of his glorious shell.

Following the rules, carrying out the Law, an perfect example of an exemplary leader,  _ future _ Head of the Institute–Alec  _ is _ the  _ perfect  _ Shadowhunter. But it seems that Alec Lightwood is quite unique, even by Shadowhunter standards.

_ “I–I don’t understand. Why, why  _ **_me_ ** _?” _

_ And remember Magnus, that moment where you saw his most treasured someone? It’s his  _ **_parabatai_ ** _. Now what are you gonna do with that? _

To be completely honest, behind all those demon-summoning aftermaths, Magnus felt quite  _ happy. _

_ It seems that Alexander Lightwood likes  _ **_guys_ ** _ , and this whole ordeal becomes a lot easier. _

Not that it did, because  _ nothing about Alexander is easy–which just makes every ounce of hardwork  _ **_worth it_ ** _. _

_ “Playing hard to get?  _ **_I love a challenge_ ** _.” _ Yet Alec is not just a challenge–as  _ mundanes _ care to metaphor,  _ Alexander is Magnus’ obstacle course. _

He called him often.

He asked him for a drink.

He offered to heal his wounds.

He  _ called him pretty boy (that one was easy, and honest). _

Magnus Bane is out of training. He can’t do this.  _ Of course you can, you idiot. _

Has he mentioned that Ragnor Fell is the voice of his conscience? 

He knows he can, not until Alec said those words. 

“That’s why I’m marrying  _ Lydia.” _

_ Five words. One is even a name, and yet it isn’t Magnus. _

That was the moment he  _ really  _ understood what ‘brokenheart’ means. 

_ “I need your strength.”  _

_ “Take what you need.” _

Magnus Bane was  _ always  _ the healer, yet this was one of the times he  _ needs the healing. _

_ This is the first time Magnus felt so hopeless. _

_ “ _ **_Goodbye, Alexander._ ** _ ”  _ And he  _ meant _ goodbye, through every sense of the word.

He never felt so  _ unattached  _ to this world.  _ Every ounce of control he earned over the centuries, he lost them all for nothing.  _

_ All for a Shadowhunter, his  _ **_first_ ** _ Shadowhunter. He must have  _ **_known._ **

Yet the weird thing is, Magnus still felt  _ honored. _

If someone shall break his heart and pound it to pieces, it might as well be Alec Lightwood. 

_ Even if nothing really happened between them. _

_ Now nothing will  _ **_ever_ ** _ happen between them. _

_ “Someday, someone will come along and tear all these walls you built around your heart.” _

Alexander Lightwood did not _only_ tear those walls, he _burned_ them. _He rendered him weak and defenseless._

_ “And when that love comes to you, you must do  _ **_everything_ ** _ in your power to  _ **_fight_ ** _ for it.” _

_ “I get her. I  _ **_like_ ** _ her.  _ **_But you don’t have to marry her_ ** _. You’ll be lonely all your life–and so will she. Neither of you deserve it.  _ **_And I don’t either_ ** _.” _

Magnus knows he doesn’t. All the unattachment he had for the Nephilim these past years, equated all the involvement he had with them for the last weeks.

Everything in his history,  _ he’s willing to give up for Alexander Lightwood. _

_ “What is that  _ **_warlock_ ** _ doing here?” _

_ “Bring it on,  _ **_warlock_ ** _.”  _

_ “All for a  _ **_Downworlder_ ** _?” _

_ “ _ **_Magnus_ ** _ , leave this wedding  _ **_now_ ** _.” _

_ “This is between  _ **_me_ ** _ and your  _ **_son_ ** _.” _

_ “I know  _ **_you feel what I feel_ ** _ , Alec.” _

_ “You don’t have a clue about what I feel,  _ **_so back off_ ** _.” _

_ I’ll leave if he asked me to. _

This was the first time Magnus acknowledged the presence of the _Creator._ _He caught himself praying._

_ Please don’t make Alec ask me to leave. _

_ Please don’t make Alec mad at me. _

_ Please don’t make Alec despise me. _

_ Please don’t make Alec cast me out of his life. _

These four sentences, he repeated inside his head like a never ending mantra. 

He saw Alec’s attention turn to him for two, three seconds. 

_ Those three seconds were more than enough. _

Magnus watched as Alec turned to the crowd,  _ and looked directly at him. _

_ One, two, three steps. _

_ He grabbed Magnus. _

_ And  _ **_kissed_ ** _ him. _

**_Kissed him_ ** _. _

_ “You never cease to amaze me Alec.” _

_ “Yeah. What did I just do?” _

_ “So how long has this been going on? Are you two  _ **_in love_ ** _?” _

_ “Love? What? No, no–” _

_ “This...is all very  _ **_new_ ** _.” _

_ The moment Alexander Lightwood stepped down the altar, stopped his own marriage, turn away from tradition, and kissed him in front of the whole Institute and some high emissaries from the Clave– _

It was the moment Magnus Bane started believing it is  **_love_ ** _. _

**Author's Note:**

> The title, On My Way to Believing, was extracted from a song, The Only Exception by Paramore. LISTEN TO THEM, THEY ARE AWWWEEEEEEESOME.
> 
> Thank you for reading! Please leave Kudos if you liked it and comments are always welcome below. :)


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